Anjali-amma, namaskaram.

This is a feeling we all experience when we lose someone very dear. In case of some very dear relationships, the feeling of attachment bothers us for a very very long time…. many years even!

But we can do our best to not let this attachment / affection turn into worries or depression. Whenever the thought about the missing person comes, we can channelise the mind in the following way:
1. think how they have helped us in our own spiritual progress, and feel grateful to them.

2. recollect our experience of visiting temples with them

3. How Perumal Who is dear to everyone and for Whom everyone is dear, will be taking care of the departed person now.

In addition, we can also direct the mind to think about how this material life is temporary; even a 100 years life time is very short when we consider the multiple cycles of life times we have been through. I feel so sad losing (eg.) my mother; but what about the mother in my previous life times? I have lost so many mothers in so many life times before! but I am not worrying about them all now. Somehow only the current relationship matters most! 

But in the eternal perspective, I don’t have to worry about anyone; we ALL (including all the souls who have been ‘my mother’) will be happily serving together in Vaikuntham.

In the Bhagavad Gita, in 2nd chapter we find the symptoms of a sthithah prajna; in the 14th 17th chapter we find symptoms of a person in satva gunam. Such a person is said to be not affected by the ups and downs, gains or loss, etc.

So, if we want to be undisturbed in sad situations we have to cultivate the qualities of a sthitha prajna / satvam person. The sad feelings is there; but it is not disturbing our routine kainkaryam because we are seeing the situation with the perspective of scriptural jnanam. The more we mature in jananm and vairagyam, the more we will manifest the qualities of a person is satva gunam / sthitah prajna.

The way to progressively cultivate satva gunam is through nurturing avvyabhicharini bhakthi (Bhagavad Gita 14.26) towards Perumal.

Thirukkural 350:

பற்றுக பற்றற்றான் பற்றினை அப்பற்றைப்

பற்றுக பற்று விடற்கு.

My answer is completely theoretical; I too am struggling with my mind in many ways.

adiyen dasan.

I think, whenever the remembrance come, praying for His grace to the departed soul can be done. This also gives the opportunity to remember Him. In a lighter sense, more remembrance of the departed soul, more  opportunity one get to remember Him.

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha
Srimathe Sri Varaha Mahadesikaya Namaha
Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swamy Thiruvadigaley Sharanam
Sri:

Adiyen still think of my Appa. This family setup made up by Perumal. Nothing Wrong in Acknowledging it. Adiyen thinking after my death where will thoughts be? 🤔

Dasanudasan

Every day after getting up from sleep thinking how without body experience is limiting me?