Namaskaram swami, thanks to you for clarifying a lot of our sandehas.
One more sandeha I have always had especially since I have a young son (3 year old) is how can I make life the best for him and for our family. I am a daughter of very hard working parents who have given me education (multiple degrees) with their savings and I am also good at my workplace – most times I enjoy my work ( pls note that I don’t have any financial need to work) but of course, due to office politics or work pressure, sometimes, I don’t enjoy work. But my family personally feels it will be waste if I don’t use my education for earning and for getting achievements outside the household. I am told by many people in my peer group including husband, parents that I will regret if I quit my work only to take care of my son because he is going to grow up and will start needing me less and less.
I am in two minds – I feel my focus on my son will definitely be affected because of my full time work and juggling everything but there are other women who say we can do it all with some help and compromise here and there….. How do I navigate this dilemma – I have sort of tried to arrive at a solution which goes like this -> Let me work to the extent possible for a few more years, when the time comes when I can’t really manage everything, then I can quit. Till then, let me continue and see how much I can make all of this work… but my question is -> Does what we do really matter compared to “how we do it”? for eg: If I continue to work with the constant thought “sarvam krishnaarpanam” in all my actions, thoughts in workplace, will God like it? Or if I only do service to people, will God like? ( even if my thoughts, intentions are not as good)…. which one will God prefer?
The reason I am asking this question is at the back of my mind, there is a recurring thought that I am wasting my life by pursuing material things – meeting deadlines in office, getting recognition, being appreciated for my work, doing a great job at workplace etc. but it is not easy for me to quit completely esp. when I don’t know what else to do with my time productively… will my son really need me? will I really be as good a housewife ? so I tell myself if I atleast try to be detached towards my work and try to dedicate my actions towards God – then will God be happy with what am doing? Or should I only do service to people, to get god’s blessings even if I do with regret of quitting a cushy, well earning job ? … how should I understand this …
The related question is -> given this current world and how we are faced with such difficulties and unforeseen circumstances, I want my son to be practising bhakti as early as possible – I have started daily sloka time in the morning teaching him basic pasurams and chanting perumaal’s names, singing hymns etc. but in future, as he grows up, I also want him to learn the Vedas/Vedanta, learn 4000 divya prabhandams and understand our shaastras better ( me and my husband don’t have much knowledge in this because of our background and how we were raised…), so we don’t know much that we can teach him… but in this current race, given that he will be going to regular school full day, followed by some non-curricular activities in evenings – playing outdoors, tuitions in future, maybe some classes for his hobbies … even if time is not a constraint, “where” can I make him learn all this regarding our shaastras from a proper Guru who can guide him ? We don’t know anyone who can teach him all this….. is there a place where he can learn – just like how he learns maths, science and other subjects, we also want him to learn age appropriate shaastras as part of his growing up – but how can we achieve this…. do you have any suggestions please…
Thank you for reading my long sandehas… thank you once again for spreading sanatana dharmam and guiding and helping this generation ….. mikka nandrigal
