Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha,

Namaskaram srivats Swami,

Regarding devareer’s observation in North Indian houses while work from home in North india (Adiyen guess)”……….When a male visits his sisters’ house, he never even drinks a glass of water or anything from her house……….”, Similar scenario exists in our sampradhayam but on different perspective as two examples seen in GuruParamparai.

1) Andra Poornar Swami (Vaduga Nambhi) a direct shisya of Swami Ramanujar, once had visitors (his family members) at SriRangam for few days. Swami Vaduga Nambhi did a hospitable treatment to his family members during their visit as Athithi Devo Bhava, but after they returned to their native place, Vaduga Nambhi Swami broke all the clay utensils that was used to cook food and washed the whole house, since his family members were loukikas and didnot undergo any Panchasamskaram/Prapatti) to get Swami Ramanuja Sambhandham for Moksham and Kainkaryam. Then Swami went to MudhaliAndan Swami’s Thirumaligai and got some old utensils that they didnot use it for lobg time. Vaduga Nambhi Swami’s thought process was, even if we get some old utendiles from a Ramanuja Sambhandhi who is outside his family, it is fine, since they are BhagavAta Bhandus, rather than continuing to use the utensils touched by his own family members since they are mere Dheha Bhandus only. So, Adiyen believe it could be similar scenerio in North India when male visited his sister, but could be a different reason, but not sure.

2), Swami Maara Neri Nambhi who is a shisya of Swami Alavandar requested PERIYA Nambhi Swami (who is a Shishya of Swami Alavandar and Acharya of Swami Ramanujar), that when He leaves His Body here to reach SriVaikuntam with Acharya Krupai, please do Anthima Samsksram to my body and don’t let my family members touch my body for Anthima Samsksram, since they are Dheha Bhandus (Aabhaasa Bandhus) and NOT BhagavAtA Bhandus (Athma Bhandus). So, Adiyen believe it could be similar scenerio in North India when male visited his sister, but could be a different reason, not sure.

Adiyen (ElayaAlwar) Srinivasa (DhoddayAcharyar) Dasan

Mikka Nandri Swami, for sharing these incidents ‘Sri Andra Poornar’ and ‘Sri Maara Neri Nambi’ swamis.

Yes, these incidents show the importance of ‘Bhagavata Bandhus’ over ‘Deha Bandhus’; though not so easy to practice.

As swami rightly pointed out, the reasons are quite different here (Northern India).

People from ‘piranda agam’ doesn’t exercise any right over their daughters after giving them in a marriage to ‘pukkagam’. 

It used to extend to such an intensity that they don’t feel comfortable having (consuming) anything from their ‘jaamaata’s’ house; only exceptions being certain special family occasions where they are invited.

Otherwise their visit to sister’s house is only to check about their well-being.

But they always have something to offer for their sisters during their visit but strictly nothing in return…

This is a dying tradition now, though….

-Adiyen