Empathy, not Apathy

Updated on May 16, 2018 in Good qualities for human
3 on May 15, 2018

Most Respected Swami and Bhagavathas,

Many Salutations.

I’ve been meaning to ask this question for almost one year, after constantly searching for an answer.

As Swami constantly enlightens us, our SriVaishanava Sampradayam is truly a noble path shown to us by our Azhwars and Acharyas.

Yet, at times even simple concepts may get lost in the midst of complex sastras and rituals.

Let me illustrate with an example –

My father attained Acharyan Thiruvadi suddenly last year at the age of 60. I’m happy to say that our family was sufficiently spiritually educated to realise

that his Atma is indestructible, and has reached the place it truly belongs. Despite this, our grief was great since we missed his presence among us. It was my

first close encounter with death and real grief, and I was truly appalled by the behavior of our friends and family during and after this difficult time.

Instead of offering even a few words of consolation or kindness, all they did was talk about their own problems, debate on whether thirukannamudam should be

served in the meal that day, and treat my grieving mother with fear – as a widow who should not be touched, who has suddenly become this inauspicious symbol of bad

luck. Each and every one of them including close relatives disappeared from the scene at the earliest.

This is the treatment give to the same woman, my mother who has consciously transformed and encouraged many family members into adopting Emperumanar Darisanam.

Somehow, all that the people could think about was – which was the right day to enquire about the death ( it has to be on a Sunday) , how can other married women protect

themselves from the bad luck of the suffering wife, alienating her from even seeking spiritual refuge in a temple. There may be some meaning to these rituals, but the
cold and callous manner in which they are performed makes it an extremely heartless and painful process.

Our Sampradayam is full of inspiring anecdotes and stories that teach us great and noble principles. Kidambiachan was so soft hearted that he could not bear theburning of Udaiyavar’s Thirumeni on the hot kaveri sand. Should we not learn from this? If you witness a Bhagavatha suffering, should your heart not go out to them and try to be of whatever service possible?

Swami, I beg you to highlight the importance of being “NedumArk Adimai” as preached by our Azhwar to the many listeners. You have the power to positively influence so many peope and make them better. Please enlighten us that it is Empathy to fellow beings and not Apathy that marks a true SriVaishanvite.

 
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Sri Ramanuja Munaye Namaha,

Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami Guruve Namaha,

Asmadh Sarva Gurubhyo Namaha,

 

BhagavatA,

 

In the meantime, Adiyen would like to share similar scenorios and some answers from Swami’s Upanyasams.

This is a pathetic situation in samudhayam (society) which is always there from past, present and will be there for future due to nature of samsaram/other karmas, unless each own takes their own effort to fix themselves with their Jeeva Swathantriyam (Independently-Dependent on BhagavAn) and BhagavAn’s Grace, or BhagavAn changes this Samsaram to SriVaikuntam with HIS WILL (Sankalpam).

There is one sequence in GuruParamparai. Other Srivaishavaites opposed and complained to Swami Ramanujar that How could Acharya Swami Periya Nambhigal do Anthima Samsakaram (final rituals) to a Non-brahmin Maara Nera Nambhi during His demise and kept PEriya Nmabhi away from any SriVaishava rituals etc… The True SriVaishavaites consider PErumal’s Adiyar as ALL Equal (doesn’t focus on their Varnas/Kulam) and we consider their Body is Holy and say as “Charama Thirumeni” when Maara Nera Nambhi attained HIS Acharyan Alavandar’s ThiruvAdi.

Adiyen has heard in Sri Velukkudi Swami’s upanyasam that, Swami’s own Thaayar faced the Samudhayams ILL (Superstitious) behaviour towards HER, after Swami’s Thiru Thagappanaar Sri Velukkudi VaradhAcharya Swami attained HIS Acharyan ThiruvAdi (ParamapAdham). It is hard to digest for us and brings tears in our eyes, when we see Great people face such situations in this material world.

*********************

Swami has said in the past that, the only thing that we could do when such situations araise is to follow as per Swami KoorathAzhwans Upadesam to us as:

 

” DHUSTANAI KANDAAL DHOORA VILAGU, MUDINDHAL NANMAI SEI”

துஷ்டனை கண்டால் தூர விலகு , முடிந்தால் நன்மை செய்.

“STAY AWAY FROM BAD COMPANY, DO GOOD TO THEM IF POSSIBLE”

 

We need to try to give them the good advise based on what we understood from Swami’s/Acharya’s upanyasams. If they are not in listening mode, then just avoid and don’t involve in their activities, since we may not have enough strength to make them understand/change things.

Those kind of people just follow dry spiritual knowledge “Varattu GyanAm”, like BhaGavAn is Supreme and I pray him daily and I have His blessing what else do i need, but they miss to have “Sneham” towards HIM. Snehem towards BgahavAN will come, only if they see, WE ALL reside in Same BhagavAN Sriman NarayanAn’s body (Thirumeni). Like if thinks that, I’m residing in one portion of HIS divine Body, other Jeevas also reside in other portions of Same BhagavAn’s body.

*************************

At the same time, depending up on maturity of the particular Athma, We can also forgive them generously, if not BhagavAn will push them to Hell for next procedural sequences. But, it depends up on ones own Maturity “how to forgive and what to ask to BhagavAn”.

 

Like Naalooran (Nasthika-Asthikan) was responsible for Swami KooarthAzhwans Eye loss. But Swami didnot just stop by asking Perumal to forgive Nalooran, rather Swami went one step ahead and asked Moskham for Nalooran to PErumal, when general public is finding ways to reach Moksham. Perumal granted Moksahm to Nalooran since Swami KoortahAzhwan was a Pious Adiyar and granted HIS wish. Enpani # 669 “How to Forgive”. We can also develop such Karunai towards others, so BhagavAn changes our sorroundings for a peaceful atmosphere.

***********************

 

However from Bhagavan perspective, HE will be really angry on those SriVaishanavites or any other people, who has such bad attitudes and ill treat other Adiyars.

BhagavAn Sriman NarayanAn is Udhaseenan and watches Quietly (Mounam). By being Quiet (Mounam), BhagavAN speaks (Paesuvadhu) to them. Here is BhagavAn’s simple advise (Mounam Paesiyadhe) to such people.

 

ஆடாத ஆட்டம் எல்லாம், போட்டவங்க மண்ணுக்குள்ள ,போன கதை உனக்கு தெரியுமா ,

நீ கொண்டு வந்ததென்ன, நீ கொண்டு போவதென்ன, உண்மை என்ன என்று உனக்கு புரியுமா ,

வாழ்க்கை இங்கு யாருக்கும் சொந்தம் இல்லையே ,

வந்தவனும் வருபவனும்,  இங்கு நிலைப்பதில்லையே ,

நீயும் நானும், நூறு வருஷம் இங்கு இருப்பது இல்லை பாரு ,

……

BhagavAN repeats the lines…

ஆடாத ஆட்டம் எல்லாம்…………………இல்லை பாரு

…….

நித்தம் கோடி சுகங்கள் தேடி, கண்கள் மூடி அலைகின்றோம் ,

பாவங்களை மேலும் மேலும், சேர்த்துக்கொண்டே போகின்றோம் ,

மனிதன் என்னும் வேடம் போட்டு, மிருகமாக வாழ்கின்றோம் ,

தீர்ப்பு ஒன்று இருப்பதை மறந்து தீமைகளை செய்கின்றோம்

காலம் மீண்டும் திரும்பாதெ, பாதை மாறி போகாதே ,

பூமி கொஞ்சம் குலுங்கினாலேய, நின்று போகும் ஆட்டமே ,

……

Bhagavan repeat the lines…

ஆடாத ஆட்டம் எல்லாம்…………………இல்லை பாரு

…….

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There is also possibility that many of us have also done such type of odd behaviour in the past janmas and has crossed/overcomed with Acharya Krupai from time to time or from Janmas to Janmas. At some point, they also will be in correct Harmony path like us with Acharya Krupai. However, when we ourselves face such bad incidents lively to ourselves, it is a Dharma Sankatam to us. Bhagavanum-Acharyargalum Namma Yellarayum rakshikkattum.

****************************

 

Adiyaargal Vaazha AranganAgar Vaazha……….

Sneha Poorav AnuDhyanam Bhakthi Ridh AbhiDheeyathe.

 

Adiyen Sri Velukkudi Krishna Dasan,

Uyya Oraey Vazhi UdayavAR ThiruvAdi,

Sarvam SriKrishna Kudumbham.

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Sri Ramanuja Munaye Namaha,
Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami Guruvae Namaha,

Bhagavata,

Swami beautifully answered in enpani 1019 “identify the wicked”.

“Kaarai KarunAi Raamanuja, Ikkadalidatthil aaraey aribhaVar, NinArulin Thanmai………

Adiyen Sri Velukkudi Krishna Dasan,
Uyya Oraey Vazhi UdayavAr ThiruvAdi,
Sarvam SriKrisharpanam Asthu

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0 on May 16, 2018

Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha

Adiyen and adiyen’s family is extremely grateful to your reply on the blog and Swami’s answer on enpani.

The significance of Atma gunam was clearly explained for all to uplift their thoughts and behavior.

Also the explanation of Sneham along with Gyanam and rising above the pettiness to forgive is very apt and has struck a chord with us.

Thank you for easing our doubts and more importantly adiyen believes that if these principles are kept in mind our SriVaishnava community will stay together and continue to rise up as a shining example and role model to all.

adiyen Ramanuja dasi

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