Adiyen.

The answer to this question requires fine discrimination across a very thin line.

Emotions of happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, feelings of separation etc are there in spiritual life too; but it is focussed on Perumal, kainkaryam to Him, and those who are serving Him.

So, just the emotions are not wrong; whether the emotions are founded on spiritual conception or material conception is what matters. For example, when one’s acharyan goes to Thirunaadu for kainkaryam, we will miss him miserably; we will feel bad and naturally the emotions of sadness and crying will come.

Similarly, if someone loses a father or mother (or someone so close) naturally we will miss them and we will cry. It is wrong to think “Oh, I should not be crying” and repress one’s emotion. Even if the emotion is based on a material conception, we should not repress it based on theoretical understanding. While experiencing the emotion, we should consciously try to not let the emotion (happiness or sadness) to block us from our regular kainkaryam. Care should be taken to not let the emotion put us in excitement or dejection (about past) or anxiety (about future). We must stay grounded and do our regular day-to-day kainkaryams.

Suppose one losses one’s job, of course there will be some sadness (for most of us), and part of the sadness is, “I hope this condition should not affect my kainkaryams”.

In Bhagavad Gita Perumal says “sukhe-dhukhe sama krtva”; ‘perceivie sukha and dhukha the same’; He does not say perceive them zero/ non-existent. So, as long as we are in this world, we are bound to face happiness and sadness, ups and downs based on our karma and other factors. As we go through these experiences, we should remember “this too shall pass; all these are temporary. What is permanent is my kainkaryam to my acharyan. So, let me not make this temporary situation overwhelm me.” This is the practical way to perceive sukha and dhukha as equal. 

This is what we should practise. Instead, if we try to repress our emotions based on some theoretical understanding, that is not only wrong, that is dangerous too.

adiyen dasan. 

Namaskaaram Swami,

Thanks for pointing out the incompleteness in adiyen’s answer. Bhagavan uses the word ‘titiksasva’ while referring to sukha and dukha. So titiksha means ‘to tolerate’. So yes this tolerance doesn’t mean artificial repression of emotions. So adiyen totally agree with devareer’s following statement:

As we go through these experiences, we should remember “this too shall pass; all these are temporary. What is permanent is my kainkaryam to my acharyan. So, let me not make this temporary situation overwhelm me.” This is the practical way to perceive sukha and dhukha as equal. 
This is what we should practise. Instead, if we try to repress our emotions based on some theoretical understanding, that is not only wrong, that is dangerous too.From கம்பன்தாசன்

adiyen dasan

Kshamikkanum for giving an almost dangerous reply, swami.

adiyen dasan

My understanding is from above is temporary emotions are unavoidable and then quickly move forward to focus perumal to overcome all those sadness.. ! understood, let me pray strongly for both Sukh/Dukh to perumal. Adiyen Ramanujadasan.

thankyou periyava for your guidance.

Srimate Raamaanujaaya Namaha.

Swami where did our Velukkudi Swami say, “Sandhosha patta punyam poradhu,
Dhukka patta pavam karaiyaradhu,
Edhu venumnu neengaley mudivu pannikkongo”
?
Devareer says it is Bangalore upanyasam. Kindly share the link.

Also by the word ‘sandhosam’, does devareer mean ‘material enjoyment’?

adiyen dasan

Even i remember some Upanyasams Swami mentioned like that ! But not remember the location.

Like Kunthi my mindset is “Kashtam koduthalum Perumal kudeve irupaan nu ore napasaai” ! Idhu podhun ennaku but how my family will see me if i am in Kunthi mindset?.

Thanks for your sharing Swami! Periyavala Bangalore la sandhika mudiyuma,?

Yaru Periyava?
Velukkudi periyava, Kanchi Maha Periyava periyava
Adiyen Chennai neechan

Ok Swamy no issues
Dasanudasan