Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha

Adiyen wrote long answer but deleted it. People’s feelings will get hurt. Vendaam.

Velukkudi Krishnan Swamy’s answer on marriage “A marriage is a dhArmic relationship that should enable PerumaL Kainkaryam. ”

Long answer short

Dasanudasan

Thank you to both Vikraminside and Perumal Swamis, But I was perplexed of the papa/adharma of leaving/cheating someone vowing marriage earlier.Would Vishesha dharma apply for my situation if I want to step back from this marriage giving our paramathma preference ? I was under severe confusion and that’s the reason I reached out here at dharma sandeha

Dear Ramanuja Dasan swamy,

Very happy to see that you have developed deep love towards our Perumal and sincerely desire to spend the rest of this life in further deepening this love through acharya kainkaryam.

Regarding wether or not to marry the person with whom you have had an emotional commitment, please consider the following:
1. Check whether the person loves you more or loves meat-eating and drinking more? If her love for meat and alcohol is more, then she has the option to move-on with life without you. 

2. By marrying a girl in front of agni and the devatas, you will be making a promise to guide that atma is spiritual life. Ask yourself if you will be able to keep-up such promise to the devatas if you marry this person who eats meat and drinks intoxication.

3. Vikram-swamy mentioned about incuring sin if one does not keep up vows taken up in nichayatartam. In your case, have you done something like nichayatartam with this person? Or is it that you have been dating for a few months/ years? If it is only dating and not nischayatartam, there is no big sin. There may be some reaction for the disappointment caused; but as vikram swamy suggested, if you handle this in a gentle manner with proper discussion, then it can be resolved as a mutual decision without disappointment to either person.

4. Even setting aside all other factos aside, now that it is evident that your goal in life is Perumal and her goal in life is material enjoyment, with two different goals how is it possible for a couple to lead a happy life? Neither she will be happy nor you will be happy. It is imporant for both of you to talk to each other and explain your respective preferences.If you both break up mutually, although there may be some pain initially, the rest of life will be peaceful for both. On the otherhand, if you both marry knowing well your goals are different, the rest of life will be _____ for both.

Please check if you both still have the ‘love’ emotion.

Vasudevar had promised to Kamsa that he will handover all his children. But when Perumal ordered Vasudevar to take Him across the Yamuna and exchange the bebies, he did not worry about his promise to Kamsa. For the sake of Perumal He was willing to break his promise; if at all any sin came from that it is Perumal will take care of that.

If I have said anything offensive, please forgive me.

adiyen dasan.

Thank you for valuable inputs vikram,kambandasan,perumal swami.The engagement was done already, Also few years ago at initial time of relationship, adiyen wrote two paper slips in front of perumal regarding marriage the slip chosen said to marry that also added to adiyen’s confusion,Adiyen will further ask asmadh acharyar as well before deciding this and all the sin involved cos the partner remained same while adiyen is the one who become sri vaishnava after bharanyasam.Iam grateful for all above inputs ,also adiyen’s life is on the line here , I appreciate if Sri Velukudi Swamy also gives a suggestion for the same.

Adiyen want to delete my responses.

This thread is killing me.

Let Velukkudi Swamy & periyavA take care.

Who am I to intervene?

Don’t know when my stupid ego will subside.