Not okay

Parents are first God

Mata Pita Guru Deivam

Vikram swamy,

In general what you say is true; but there can be exceptions too.

Prahaladan did not try to please his father. Vibheeshana did not try to please his sibling. Bali did not try to please his Guru.

If the mother is the person who introduces father to the child. Father is the person who introduces Guru to the child. Guru is the person who (re)introduces God to the individual.

If these three members are duly leading the soul towards God, if they are dharmic, then we should to try to please them.

Sometimes what we do may not be pleasing to them immediately, but will give them happiness in the long run.

So, the answer to question is subjective.

Firstly, ensure what you are trying to do is indeed pleasing to Perumal and you are not just imagining so. Discuss your specific situation with a wise person who is steady in his devotion, and ensure what you think is pleasing to Perumal is indeed pleasing to Him.

Even if the parents and siblings fail to see your point of view, you try to see their point of view; carefully evaluate if what they say is in line with dharma. If so, it is better to follow their advise.

adiyen dasan.

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha

Thayar eppadi irukka nu paakadhey
Nee thayarukku ozhunga iru

Don’t see how your mother is
See how you are to your mother

It is this janma relationship created by Perumal for your karma

So even if it is a bad mother
A son’s responsibility is to take care of her

Here the point is “Are we doing justice to our duty?”

Vibheeshana what he did may be against Rajya Dharmam (sAmAnya Dharmam)
SharanAgathi is vishesha Dharmam
(He might have known SriRam is Supreme and realised)

Bali did not listen to his Guru
But Guru was safeguarding his sishya even after knowing it’s Perumal so Guru did his duty, Bali failed
A sishyan’s responsibility is to listen to Guru

Prahladhan did not listen to his father because he was mature enough to know who the supreme was “Garbha SrimAn” within mother’s womb
We get knowledge only by experience & age

The moment that God realization come

Everything becomes
“thaaye thandhaiye noye”

Why did Pundalik kept Panduranga waiting?
Parents vitutu oda vendiyadhu dhaney, unga Perumal dhan great achey

Dasanudasan

100% we all follow this on our family responsibilities ! But for divine we shouldn’t wait for thayar or thanthi waiting period: just we keep going or pleasing our perumal and thayar without waiting for someone or our tracks.

Amma appa kku kaal pidichu vitta podhum

It will please Perumal
Dasanudasan

Agreed ! Podhum thaan idikarthu ! Kal pidichu vittu apram.. perumala please pannalame adhu enga Amma vku nalla arogya tharum.. kal Vali illama perumal kita nadaka vaikum…

Ok Swamy

That’s okay. As per VishistAdvaita siddhAntham all my thoughts are TRUE at that point in time.

Devareer read deeply my message you will understand better.

Amma appa rendu perum sethu ponadhukku apparam Perumal madila ukkaralam. No hurry.

We are not thukkaram or Nama devarvto roll over the ground. Already nobody taking care of parents.

In the name of Perumal I don’t want one more to fall as victim and get into sins.

Dasanudasan

Apply your brain even if it’s your own Guru, just don’t blindly follow”From vikraminside

This is 100% correct in the following way:

To please Perumal is the ultimate goal. Taking care of parents irrespective of their nature is VERY important because that is what pleases Perumal. But, if (hypothetically) one person wants to engage in some sastvika occupation in a satvika place, but the parents want the person to engage in rajasika or tamasika work in a rajasika place (eg. western world), then this person need not please the parents on this count. He can go against their wish, but still take care of them nicely.

Even if it is parents or so-called guru advising, use your brain to think through in terms of what sastram precribes as ‘pleasing to Perumal’ and do that. This is what Prahaladan did, Bali did, and Vibheeshana did. And this is what ThiruVikraman swamy is also suggesting now. But along the way, he somehow got confused.

So, please take your time to think along the teachings of our acharyas.

adiyen.

Guru did his duty, pupil failed!  ”From vikraminside

Ideally, the guru should have told, “my dear child, you are so fortunate Lord Vishnu Himself has come. Just submit everything to Him including yourself; because everything actually belongs to Him already. I will also use this opportunity to submit myself to Him in person. Let us please Him with all our heart”.

Had the guru said so, then we can conclude he did his duty. 

Now you please think over logically and tell, did the guru do his duty? No!

But the sishya did his duty promptly! He had learnt from other sources (including his grandfather) that the ultimate goal is to please Perumal, and he didn’t fail in his duty.

— 

When you use your own brain and analyse, please use acharya’s teachings as guidelines; then it will be correct. If we use our brain based on our vasanas, it is bound to be wrong. Example, as above.

adiyen dasan.

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha

Ok Swamy too good.
Few places clarity required
“then this person need not please the parents on this count. He can go against their wish, but still take care of them nicely
.
If one chooses to move away how can he/she take care of parents?

Rajasam and Tamasam need to be reduced. Except Perumal who is shuddha sathvam?

The whole idea of sathvikam is to serve.

Self submission is a special dharma Swamy not just Sukracharya even lord Shiva may fail to self submit to Sriman Narayana.

Indran after getting all help from Perumal still enjoying his worldly pleasures.

Why Arjuna after all Gita / Hita upadesha from Krishnan himself did not self submit?

Adhu avlo easya thonadhu Swamy.

So Sukracharya technically helped Trivikrama Leela to continue.

If Bali did sharanagati first itself, then perumal could not have captured the lokas he promised to lord Indran.

Perumal’s dayalu krupalu gurnam would not let a sharanagatha suffer at any cost.

Same case with Vibheeshana. If Ravana had fell down to SriRam, SriRam would be in Dharma Sankata

SriRam would have required to login to this forum to get clarity.

Dasanudasan

There is nothing as My time.

If Ravana did sharanAgathi
Sri Ram would give Ayodhya to Ravana

Devareer please take time

Dasanudasan

So it is subjective depending on the situation.From enpanifan

And therefore, 

So, the answer to question is subjective.

Firstly, ensure what you are trying to do is indeed pleasing to Perumal and you are not just imagining so. Discuss your specific situation with a wise person who is steady in his devotion, and ensure what you think is pleasing to Perumal is indeed pleasing to Him.

Even if the parents and siblings fail to see your point of view, you try to see their point of view; carefully evaluate if what they say is in line with dharma. If so, it is better to follow their advise.From Kambandasan

“But if the parents wish the son or daughter to get more entangled in this world and son or daughter decides not to fully please their wishes or material attachments..”

– Enakku sothu ezhudhi tharuvaaLaa? Mudiyadhu la aprom enna “entangled in material attachments?”

Adhellan summa kadha Swamy

Inniki nelamiyai pesuvom

What is our age in Kali?
What is our dharma in Kali?

That’s more important.

Selft contented life with naama sankeerthanam.

Madhyama lakshanam

Naanum nanna irukkanum
Neeyum nanna irukkanump

Dasanudasan